It is just over 50 years ago that a major milestone in the fight for equal rights was reached when a booklet called “Towards a Quaker View of Sex” was published and launched the debate about gay rights in many religious and secular circles as it presented alternative approaches to sex as a natural and normal part of human sexuality.
Gill Coffin , remembers very vividly what a breath of fresh air that booklet was when she read it as an undergraduate. Today, it seems dated and she was struck by how many taboos have vanished or significantly weakened. Most people accept – even if they do not approve of – sex outside marriage, co-habitation, single parenthood, divorce and gay and lesbian identities and relationships.
One of the events that led up to the writing of “Towards a Quaker View of Sex” was the suicide, at Cambridge, of a young gay man. A lot has changed, but is everything all right for young people today, or are there new pressures and dilemmas? What are the issues for those of us who are older?
Some of today’s challenges are the same, others are different and perhaps more powerful. Young people experience pressure to have sex at an early age; amongst groups of all ages, there is an easy acceptance of infidelity, casual sex, and sex with friends. Less noticed, but available are multiple sexual relationships (polyamory, polysexuality) and sadomasochism. We read in the media about swinging and dogging; we find pornography and explicit descriptions of sexual acts readily available online – as well as online dating and online sex.
There are still double standards for men and women – women are likely to be labelled as sluts or slags if they have casual sex, men are called womanisers. Social media are used to persecute and humiliate those who step out of line or who are just “different”. Gay and lesbian young people are still bullied in schools – often with no support from school-staff. The word “gay” is used as an insult, and young gay and lesbians are still at a significantly greater risk of suicide than their peers. Transgender men and women face immense barriers to acceptance.
What have Quakers got to say about this new world? What guidance can be offered? QLGF (the Quaker Lesbian and Gay Fellowship), now over 40 years old and recipient last year of the Stonewall prize for community group of the year, is organizing a conference on “Spirituality and Sexual Ethics for Today”. It is open to Quakers and non-Quakers, of all sexualities and genders. The conference brings together a panel of speakers presenting a range of perspectives as well as skilled facilitation of workshops.
The conference will be held on Saturday 17 May 2014 at Mount Street Quaker Meeting House in Manchester. More information is available at www.qlgf.org.uk.
