Can someone ever have no vices? Be so flawless that they seem perfect? And if so, is perfection what we seek? In this article, I’ll share an experience I had a few years ago; along with a realisation I had about aspiring to be perfect.
I met this devilishly handsome guy online. We exchanged a few messages and decided to meet up. I took all the usual precautions when meeting up with someone from the online world: I arranged to meet him in a public place (a well-known coffee shop), let a friend know who I was meeting and what time I’d call in safe.
He was one of those people that look even more stunning in real life than in their profile pictures. He had short-cropped hair, deep hazel eyes, a five o’clock shadow and his fitted tee a showed off a taut body. Our first coffee date went well and I established that he wasn’t an axe-wielding murderer.
We shared a few dinner dates, a cinema date and even a countryside walk with a picnic date. I discovered that he didn’t smoke and rarely drank. When he did have an alcoholic beverage, he’d only have one or two. He told me that he liked to go to the gym three to four times a week and easily got his five-a-day in one meal.
When my friends asked how it was going between us, I referred to him as Mr Perfect. I explained that I couldn’t find a single vice or flaw that he had. Comparing Mr Perfect with myself gave me a twinge of inadequacy. I had plenty of vices; I smoked and liked the occasional alcohol-fuelled night out. On top of these I was a chocoholic; lazy at times and could only manage to eat three of my five-a-day.
Mr Perfect had noticed my vices and flaws. He was too polite to point them out, but did suggest that I try to cut down on the amount I smoked and offered to sign me in as a guest at his gym.
Then one day I had an eureka moment; I realised that Mr Perfect’s vice was aspiring to be perfect. That he spent all of his time trying to be flawless. Mr Perfect wanted every aspect of his life to be perfect including his potential boyfriend: me.
I grew up with Disney films that showed me that the ideal man, Prince Charming is handsome and flawless. And I thought that’s what I wanted; until I had Mr Perfect sat opposite me. We had a conversation and decided not to date anymore.
I realised that as much as Mr Perfect aspired to be perfect, whatever his definition of that was, that he’d never achieve it. As every time he gets close, he’ll move the goal posts further away. Perfection is an unachievable goal, like trying to live for eternity.
Through my experience with Mr Perfect I discovered what I want in a man. I want a man that has vices and flaws; as these are part of what makes us unique, diverse and multi-faced individuals. Remember – those who truly love us, accept us for our whole selves, flaws and all.
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Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.