Hello, everyone. My name is Graham. Today is January the 16th and I’ve been sober for 16 days now!

Without the risk of sounding smug, It’s actually been quite easy to achieve. Every morning I have woken up a little later as I’ve been sleeping deeper and deeper. A little bit worried that by the end of the month I may not wake up at all! I seem to have a clearer head whilst working, and still find myself quite focused come 3 o’clock when I’m usually screaming for coffee. However, there was a fast approaching weekend ahead of me and all the party buzzers inside me were starting to tingle.

I knew I’d have to find another focus other than going to the pub, clubbing with friends or raiding the wine rack at home! There had to be something that would take my mind off the thoughts of alcohol. I tried a few things. I went for a walk. This was hampered by the fact I had to walk past six bars full of happy drinkers all singing ‘Oom pah pah’ and clinking glasses joyously celebrating the weekend. lucky drunks!

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By now I was unsure who I had turned into as phoning the parents suddenly seemed a great idea. The repetitive conversations and stories about family ailments, all made for interesting listening when fuelled on gin, but sobriety has an ugly side! It keeps the mind clear so you remember every uneventful story told. I couldn’t rid the tales of how the paperboy had been dumping papers in their bin instead of delivering them. I was getting involved saying how outrageous it was and that they should call the paper shop. I was starting to feel angry that some young lad being paid £10 a week wasn’t doing a proper job. What was the world coming to?

I needed a drink!

I sat thinking of the good old days when I’d go to the fridge and crack open a cold bottle of beer and It was then it hit me. We had been sent some Non Alcoholic beer to try. Well, what’s the worst that could happen? I wanted a beer. I didn’t want alcohol. 1 plus 1 equals non alcoholic beer. Genius!

The shape of a green glassed beer bottle winked at me from the fridge saying go on try me. I’ve never had a 0.00% alcohol beer before so this was going to be either the greatest invention ever or a major disappointment. Thankfully I can report it to be a happy experience. A little strange at first as it was more sweet than my usual beer. It reminded me of barley sugar which was quite nice. It was Friday night and I was gonna party away. Pizza ordered. DVD on home screen. First cold beer in hand. Perfect.

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I was also convinced I had fooled the brain into thinking I was drinking alcoholic beer and that all in the World would be great again. It was. I had a great Friday night and was up fresh eyed on Saturday ready to tackle the housework without the heavy head!

Will keep you posted in part 3 at the end of the month if I survived a month off the drink.

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If you’re looking for an alternative to alcohol then the beer I tried was Equator beer flavour drink. It has 0.00% Alcohol, 0 Calories and 0 Sugar.

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About the author: Aunty
The UK's bitchiest agony aunt. Send her your woes if you dare.

Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.