Dear Uncle,
My life has been spiralling down the drain. I hate the way I look, I don’t like my attitude or my mood swings. I’m not doing very well in college and I think I’m going to fail my course. I want to move aboard, but doubt this will be able to happen as I’ve no money and no qualifications.
On top of all that, I’ve not had a boyfriend and really can’t see it happening for me. Who’d want to go out with someone like me?
I feel like such a loser and I feel like I’m at the end of my tether.
Brandon, 21
Dear Brandon.
I want to thank you for reaching out to me.
Recognising that you’re unhappy or that you’re reaching the end of your tether is so powerful. It’s so seemingly simple yet can feel like the most difficult thing in the world to admit.
First off, some practical things you can do for yourself. Booking an appointment with your doctor / GP, is something you should seriously consider doing. You may have some underlying depression which they can help you with. When the doc asks you why you’re there to see them, don’t hold back. Tell them everything you’ve mentioned here today.
Secondly, talk to your course leaders. They can help you and go through some of your options with you particularly important if you think you’re going to fail.
I am very, very sure they’ll be understanding. Also while we’re on the subject of college or Uni, book to see the campus counsellor. Believe me, they are a beacon of light. When I had issues when I was at uni, my counsellor really helped me work stuff out. Something I will never forget and something I will be eternally grateful for. Those 45 minutes with her were, at my lowest, the most treasured 45 minutes of my week.
Thirdly and I know this sounds weird, but make sure you’ve got food in your fridge (it doesn’t have to be lavish or expensive) or fruit in your fruit bowl. Make your bed every morning and carry a pen and paper everywhere you go, to write down notes and make lists.
Sometimes, especially at the moment because of Coronavirus and all the mounting pressures on us all, life can creep up on us and unless we’re dealing with problems or issues right away, they can feel like massive mountains that we can’t climb. A tidy bed, a good meal and a place to organise your thoughts could really help iron out some of the bumps you’re feeling right now.
Loving yourself
As for love and the possibility of someone ever loving you. It’s such a cliché but you got to love yourself first and the next step to loving yourself is making sure you’re still with us.
You may feel dark right now, but even the longest night must eventually give way to the morning.
Who knows what the future holds, but I really hope you’re around to experience it.
Please reach out to the Samaritans if you need to talk to someone. They are available online 24/7 or calling 116 123.
Also, you can reach out to TheMix who specialise in supporting people under the age of 25.
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