AVENGERS : INFINITY WAR – 10 years in the making, the culmination of Marvels record-breaking decade. 22 superheroes, the worst baddie of all time in the second most expensive movie in history… and this is just part 1 with part 2 coming next April.
Nutshell – The ultimate bad guy Thanos has been positioning himself over the last 18 Marvel movies and now he is ready to strike. He needs 6 infinity stones in his glove like gauntlet to rule the entire universe and all that is between him and his dastardly plan is every superhero you can possibly think of. Surely this should be an easy job for our 22 finest lycra clad heroes but no way and they start to get killed off shockingly as this dude is truly unstoppable but which of your fave’s will survive…..you will be shocked and surprised
Running Time – 149 minutes – PG.
Tagline – ‘Where will you be when it all ends ?’ – probably in a cinema seat next April for the biggest money making movie in 100 years of cinema.
The Gay UK Factor – So many fit men in one movie. We are hot for Chris Hemsworth, horny for Chris Patt, want children with Chadwick Boseman, an all-night sex orgy with either Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper or Idris Elba or preferably altogether and as for that beautiful young ass of Tom Holland… BUT and it’s a big but nothing could prepare us for the arrival of the new masculine furry faced rugged Chris Evans as Captain America – in a movie of 10 out of 10 gay sex objects this guy gets an 11 plus easily… we have not stopped wanking since we saw it and repeat viewings are guaranteed with extra tissues.
Cast – Start with the list above and then add Robert Downey, Mark Ruffalo, Peter Dinklage, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hiddleston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany, Don Cheadle, Benicio Del Toro, William Hurt and hundreds more in the most star-studded cast ever put in one movie this is big in every sense of the word.
Key Player – In a movie of a hundred stars its difficult to pick one but Chis Pratt gets it as he is so damn funny throughout. He gets the best lines and the best action bringing his Quill character from The Guardians Of The Galaxy films to the biggest league ever…hot as hell also. The directing duo of Anthony and Joe Russo deserve much praise as this could have so easily been an indulgent dog’s dinner and it is anything but.
Budget – $240 Million making it the second most expensive movie in history (Behind a Pirates of The Caribbean) but it made a profit in just 3 days of release with the record-breaking biggest opening ever. The film after one week is in the Top 50 grossing films of all time and the question is how high will it go? The most successful superhero movie ever? Will it topple Titanic and even beat Avatar? One thing’s for sure the second part will do even better – records are not being broken they are being totally destroyed.
Best Bit – 0.19 mins; The first time the anti-establishment Guardians of the Galaxy meet the cocky as fuck Thor we get very funny wordplay which they keep up throughout. The best action sequence is probably Doctor Strange, Spiderman, Iron Man and The Hulks first battle in downtown New York but basically, there is not a miss-step here…
Worst Bit – 1.02 mins … except Peter Dinklage’s giant dwarf which just does not work. The best thing from Game Of Thrones is the worst thing here but we forgive him.
Little Secret – Tom Holland was not allowed to ever see the full script as he revealed far too much about the plot of Spiderman Homecoming previously… naughty boy. This beat all cinema opening records set by the Star Wars films and Jurassic World the only one it did not get was best Worldwide opening which is still held by the Fast And Furious franchise. The end message is ‘Thanos Will Return’ you betcha.
Further Viewing – All 18 Marvel films including Black Panther, Antman, X-Men etc plus anything from the DC Universe such as Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman. Advance knowledge does help here.
Any Good – If you like these sort of films you will be in seventh heaven here it’s as great as you expected and hoped for in your wildest dreams. If you are not a Marvel Studio geek then you may struggle here a bit if you have not seen most of the previous movies but sit back and enjoy it anyway. It may to some seem a bit episodic and the action and fight scenes are continuous and unrelenting. It is obvious that this is part one of two but sod it all this is amazing stuff and is a movie that will be talked about for decades. Steal a ticket now for Chris Evan’s hot sexy new look alone
