MECHANIC RESURRECTION – The sexiest man alive is back in the sequel to his 2011 actioner which itself came from the 1972 original- testosterone level turned up to 11.
Nutshell – Jason Statham returns to one of his many movie franchises. Retired and in hiding (so far so Jason Bourne) he is forced to travel the world to commit three impossible assassinations to rescue the love of his life (shame it is not a guy – surely this guy must be in the closet). From Rio to Thailand to Sydney and beyond mayhem and incredible stunts is the the ultimate outcome.
Running Time – 98 minutes; Certificate – 15.
Tagline – “Four Continents, Three Kills; They Hired Him, They Betrayed Him, They Will Pay”.
The Gay UK Factor – The Stath gets his shirt off in all his films but here he goes mad. Basically there are very few scenes here where he actually has his clothes on so not so much a movie for your wank bank as a movie that will entirely destroy your right arm. Jason turns up as a prisoner, security guard, repairman, soldier, in a suit, swimming trunks etc etc in a 2016 version of the Village People with added chest hair.
Cast – Jason Statham, Jessica Alba, Tommy Lee Jones, Michelle Yeoh and a endless line of muscle hunks to get sweaty with in mano et mano action for the whole duration.
Key Player – These movies are star vehicles, basically if Jason wasn’t in it then it would simply not be made and here he has one of his biggest budgets ever in a film which is wholly tailored to his strengths – number one of which is his huge schlong – clearly visible on the beach and in the underwater scenes – then of course there are the gratuitous lingering ass shots.
Budget – $40 Million, These films never make their money back at cinemas but from DVD and TV and this bigger production than normal will be no different.
Best Bit – 0.20 mins; Where you get the start of 15 straight minutes of the Sath’s nipples on a Phuket beach.
Worst Bit – 1.32 mins; The big surprise twist or reveal at the end is pretty pathetic and a real let down – let’s just say this is no Usual Suspects or Sixth Sense knock out blow – he should have got his prick out instead now that would have been a closer.
Little Secret – If you are ever in LA, Jason works out quietly and sweats like mad at the Gold’s Gym right by LAX airport so make sure you make that your gym of choice for your trip and join the queue to see him naked and soaped up in the open showers.
Movie Mistake – The watch which is so key to the story is missing from Jason’s wrists in thousands of scenes throughout the film – very strange for such an important macguffin. Hey Ho this is his application for the part of Bond with two sequences even filmed in former Bond famous locations.
Further Viewing – Seeing as Jason holds the world record for the most number of Movie franchises ever with eight you are spoiled for choice. Try Spy, The Transporter 2, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, The Expendables 3, Crank 2 and Fast & Furious 7 or any film with a number in it.
Any Good – As Formulaic as ever with the only new thing here being the huge globetrotting going on (the location scout deserves a pay rise) and of course the increased Statham flesh count. A movie for straight guys to live out and hide their gay fantasies and for gay guys to freeze frame for years to come.
Rating – 74%
