LOOK AT ME | Sheila Simmonds

Sheila Simmonds is one #BusyLady. She’s a TV legend on a Home Shopping channel as well as an international recording artiste. She’s a huge fan of Polyester and she’s always dressed head to toe in her, now famous, trademark baby pink trouser suit and trusty flats. All the way from Woolloomooloo, Sheila Rocks Our Wheels.

interview with Sheila Simmonds — CREDIT: Supplied

TGUK: So is this the first time you’ve done an interview with a gay publication?
SS: Oh, I don’t know. No, I think I’ve done quite a few. I’ve done ‘Horse & Hound’, ‘Woman’s Weekly’…

TGUK: So which one or who is your favourite Kardashian?
SS: Now, favourite Kardashian. I was going to say the one that had a sex change but she’s not a Kardashian is she? I think it’s got to be Rob actually. He just kind of goes thin and then goes fat. Then he disappears for a while then comes back with a girlfriend looking really hot. Then he disappears and he comes back with a sandwich looking really fat. It’s the unpredictability of Rob that I like.

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TGUK: Is having a tight body and a fit outlook important to you Sheila?
SS: Well, personally, it doesn’t really matter because I’ve now a range of clothing from ‘#WithTheLady’ range which are all built-in with gussets. So it gives you the option to eat whatever you want. To me it’s not important, to any of the people who wear me clothes, it’s not important but I guess if you’re a Kardashian it’s not important either, is it really? So, no. I’d say no on that one.

TGUK: Sheila, it must be important for you as a brand to keep healthy, keep fit and keep a trim waist?
SS: Well I’m Australian you see. We have a varied diet. That keeps us nice and trim as well. A little bit of kangaroo meat, eucalyptus leaves that kind of stuff. Bit of dirt. Fosters lager… You get your nutrients and your five-a-day in just a tin of Fosters these days.

TGUK: Do you know what sounding is?
SS: Sounding, no I’ve no idea. Tell me. Enlighten me, darling.

TGUK: Would it surprise you to learn that it’s when men, it’s a man thing, put metal rods down their pee-holes?
SS: No, it wouldn’t surprise… I mean what is the purpose of it? Do you kind of tune in? Is it like a radio receiver? Do you kind of put your ear to it and then you’ve got a little Radio 1 coming through? Is that what it is? That’s what I like about the gays, is that they’ll try anything. Any hole’s an experiment isn’t it, with the gays?

TGUK: Tell me, are you a fan of Madonna?
SS: Oh, God I love Madge. Do you know we actually went out for lunch, well she invited me over for dinner the other day. We’ve known each other for years. Back to the Woolloomooloo Cabbage Festival in 1975. I came third.

TGUK: Where did she come?
SS: She was unplaced.

TGUK: Liza Minnelli, is she someone that you would look up to?
SS: I’d probably look down on Liza because she’s shorter than I am, and we don’t get on.

TGUK: Oh no? Is there a story?
SS: No. There is a story but I’m not sure if can repeat it right now. Let’s just say it involves a wok.

TGUK: Have you ever…
A)    Facebook stalked an ex for two hours?
B)    Sat alone in the dark with a bottle of red
wine singing along to Celine Dion?
C)    Destroyed a man’s wardrobe with scissors because it seemed like the right thing to do?
SS: B, but that was only because me money ran out on the electric key.

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TGUK: Do you like a bit of Celine Dion?
SS: I love a bit of Celine Dion. Do you know what me favourite one is, I do like to do karaoke nights actually, is ‘My Heart Will Go On’. People throw ice cubes at me while the Titanic sinks it’s fantastic.

TGUK: What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever bought?
SS: Twitter followers… and do you know the most outrageous thing about it is, I bought quite a few thousand, three days later they all disappeared! I went from popular to nothing just like that, overnight. Mind you I only paid seven dollars so…

TGUK: Who’s your style icon? Because you’ve a very strong sense of style it has to be said.
SS: I do, yes, I do. Well, I’d say, yes, it’s me.

TGUK: Have you ever dumped a boy because his boy parts were too small?
SS: I don’t know, but I’ve dumped on a boy… oh no don’t write that one, that’s a bit sick. No, but you know, I had to dump a guy because his bits were too big! I know. I looked at him, I said, ‘Strewth, strike a light and throw a seven’. It was terrible. I thought that’s not going anywhere near me so I palmed him off to me sister Jean. She’s quite happy with him, they’re still together actually.

TGUK: What do you think about drag queens?
SS: Do you know what? I don’t mind because all of my clothing are made for women or men that like to dress as women. You know I think of that as more revenue for me really! I love it.