Want to know what’s on Milo Yiannopoulos’ tour rider?

So if you’re planning to book Milo Yiannopoulos for conservative chat you’d better be ready to go on a shopping expedition in order to get him in the mood to perform.

The Tab revealed what’s on the journalist and the Internet’s super villain’s rider.

So it starts off pretty legit. Bottles of champagne, trainer approved snacks and fruit, a full-length mirror, cough drops and humidifier, WiFi and then it gets weird. Really weird.

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He wants his peaches defuzzed, an 8×10 framed signed photo of himself, non-fair trade coffee, a bowl and a half of green M&Ms (approx 1400) and a fruit platter prepared to form an M shape. Oh and he also wants a snow cone machine.

But then things get a little outrageous…

He doesn’t want gingers – but he does want four topless Abercrombie models and his preference is black models. Anyone who identifies as lesbian must remain 100 feet away from him. They are not permitted to wear khakis, flannel, Birkenstocks, or plaid. All female staff are required to wear brassieres or other supportive undergarments.

And if you get things wrong expect huge fines.

He doesn’t want phone calls in his dressing room – any disturbance will find a venue being fined $5000 and he hears Adele playing the venue will be fined $7,500.

And for on stage? He requests a fog machine and bear spray.

Milo confirmed to The Tab that the rider was authentic.

Last week Milo had a scheduled talk at his old school, The Langton Grammar School for Boys, cancelled amid security concerns. Activists were planning a protest outside the school, which caused the Department for Education’s counter extremism unit to reach out to the school.

Read the full rider below:

1. DRESSING ROOM

6 x Bottles San Pellegrino, chilled

2 x Laurent-Perrier Brut NV Methuselah

3 dozen poppy bagels, seeds removed

5 x good quality Sancerre

6 packs Newport shorts

Trainer-approved snack, fruits

Fresh fruit platter, prepared in shape of capital ‘M’

4 x Japanese square watermelon

Snow cone machine

2 buckets KFC Extra Crispy thighs should be ready upon arrival; skin removed & set aside in third bucket

Bacon

Hot and cold meal options – Gordon Ramsay recipes.

Preferred meats: Veal, suckling pig

• Use only French fleur-du-sel, Northwest coast preferred source

8 dozen double-stuff Oreos, halved & spliced together to make 4 dozen double-double stuff Oreos

Cave-aged Gruyere

A bowl and a half of green M&M’s (approx 1400)

2 x tin petrossian royal ossetra caviar

30 x peaches, defuzzed

Advil/Tylenol

Hot water (filtered), fresh honey and lemon

Coffee: Hawaiian, grown in volcanic foothills; or any non-fair-trade source/country

Cough drops

Humidifier

WiFi (2 dedicated networks, high-speed)

Central air-conditioning

Full-length mirror

Working outlets/ power strips, extension cords

2 dozen white roses, de-thorned, cut to 8-9 inches

3 pack x Scented markers

Framed,signed 8×10 photo of artist, next to roses;

NB: attendant rotate frame hourly to maintain sun aspect

Room with east & west views

Framed 8×10 portrait of Daddy; frame must be gilded/gold-leaf; placed adjacent to artist’s

Hand lotion; any South Korean brand containing horse oil banned in the USA & EU

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On-call registered nurse for B-12 injections

3 Siberian Husky puppies

4 topless Abercrombie models, BLACK PREFERRED — NO gingers

Tahitian Vanilla candles, minimum 12 hour burning time

10 ‘torchiere-style’ floor lamps

Assorted ceramic tableware

Hot & cold towels (Ralph Lauren)

Framed 8×10 black-and-white photo of Princess Di, placed on windowsill

Tiara

Johnson’s baby oil (slightly heated)

Star Wars Top Trumps

Assistant to read my speech on repeat to artist

Selection of minimum 12 world capital major newspapers, ironed

20 x international phone lines

75 x $1 bills

Registered on-call acupuncturist

Strictly Non-Smoking Rooms

Carpet & upholstery deodorized

Framed 8×10 of Mariah Carey, always placed facing the doorway, set next to the white roses

Framed 5×7 photo of J.Lo  (ideally Jenny From the Block era)

20 Sudoku & crossword puzzles, 90-95% correctly completed

Mariah back catalogue, including B-sides, looping upon entry

2 dozen limited-availability McRib sandwiches, and a vegan to watch me eat them

• Room must be fitted with a mihrab, 4 hookahs – berry flavors only –  and 2 humidifiers

• Decor: ABSOLUTELY NO BUSY PATTERNS, NO CHEVRONS

• Room temperature: 25.5-26.2 degrees Celsius

• Any fridge doors should be glass/transparent Perspex

• NO PHONE CALLS IN DRESSING ROOM. $5,000 fine for venues per unwarranted intrusion

• Venue must install fresh toilet seat for artist use only

• ABSOLUTELY NO PLAYBACK OF ANY MEDIA BY ADELE; $7,500 fine to venue per infringement

• Metal detectors at all doors

• Venue transportation must be a late-model black Maybach; 26-inch rims

• Police escort during moderate-to-heavy traffic to avoid delays

• Chauffeur All personnel must wear 100% cotton clothes. No man-made fibers

• Security personnel should be dressed neatly and tidily. NO T-SHIRTS.

• Venue personnel should refrain from applying perfume/cologne

• Venue personnel must apply deodorant/antiperspirant hourly; to be checked by tour manager

• Lesbian maintenance personnel must remain 100 feet away at all times and may not wear khakis, flannel, Birkenstocks, or plaid

• Female staff must wear brassieres or other supportive undergarments

2. STAGE

Freestanding iPad stand

Freestanding music/notes stand

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